| The breakdown of communities that's happened in the past 50 years (described in detail here) has left the modern at-home mom with five key pieces missing from her day-to-day life. Women were not meant
to raise children completely alone. No matter how much you
love your children, there are simply limits of what one person
can do by herself. It's not that we all need part-time nannies
to help us out, but to not even have fifteen minutes to turn
your back and catch your breath is incredibly exhausting.
I liken being a stay-at-home mother today to being an air
traffic control operator who works 12 hours a day, seven days
a week, while being on call all night. You have no mental
break. Ten minutes to grab a quick shower? Not with a toddler
in the house. Just take him into the bathroom with you? Be
prepared to spend 15 minutes cleaning up after a wet toilet
paper party. Having a bad day and need five minutes to collect
yourself over a cup of coffee? Out of the question. And for
those of us whose children don't sleep well, don't forget
to throw chronic, often debilitating exhaustion into the mix.
The theory of sleeping when the baby sleeps is nice, but nap
time is your only time to pay bills, return phone calls and
emails and have a moment to yourself.
You're overwhelmed with all that's required of you; and yet
because these days things like acquiring and preparing food
are no longer life-or-death issues, your efforts are often
belittled with infuriating questions like, "What do you
do all day?"
To not even be able to turn your back long enough to brush
your teeth, to not have a moment to yourself after hours and
hours of being around a toddler who's going through a "testing
limits" phase, all while functioning on much less sleep
than your body requires, is one of the most psychologically
difficult things a person could do. We're designed to live
in close-knit communities and family groups; the modern situation
of being on your own personal desert island, by yourself in
a house all day where you are the sole person available to
provide for your children's safety, nutrition, discipline
and entertainment, in addition to keeping up with bills and
other household matters, is totally unnatural. It tests the
limits of psychological endurance.
<< Missing Piece #2: Goals
| Missing Piece #4: Money >>
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