| The breakdown of communities that's happened in the past 50 years (described in detail here) has left the modern at-home mom with five key pieces missing from her day-to-day life.
The biggest problems mothers outside of the workforce have
are lack of identity and isolation, both caused by the breakdown
of communities.
Lack of Identity
Everyone likes to have a clear identity -- think of it as
having a verbal business card, a quick blurb you can say about
yourself in social settings that lets people know what type
of person you are. When people lived in the same places all
their lives it was easy for everyone to have a clear identity
within the community. If you said, "I am Jane Rogers
Smith of Smalltown" at the county fair, everyone knew
what that meant. They knew the Rogers Family and its reputation.
They knew the Smith family and its reputation. They knew Smalltown.
They had a pretty good idea of who you were from that one
sentence alone.
Now one of the few places you can have an identity handed
to you is in the workforce. If you say "I'm Jane Rogers
Smith of Smalltown" nobody has any idea who your family
is and what they're like. They don't know or care where Smalltown
is. But if you say "I'm a lawyer" or "I'm a
graphic designer" they know something about that. It's
a quick, easy way to tell people something about yourself
in social situations.
Isolation
When you stay home with children these days, you are alone.
Walk down any suburban street during the day and you practically
expect to see a tumbleweed blow by to make the tableau of
desolation complete.
You have no adult conversation. You can't send your kids
outside to play with others in the neighborhood -- nobody
else is home, and you wouldn't know them anyway. Leaving the
house in the car with the kids is difficult and time-consuming,
involving packing up the diaper bag, snacks, sippy cups, getting
everyone strapped into car seats, etc. There's nothing to
do within walking distance. Playgroups are your only shot
at adult conversation during the day, and they are often lackluster
and tense since nobody has anything in common except for a
desperation to get out of the house.
It's just you and your children. All day, every day.
Missing Piece #2: Goals >>
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