In order to replace the missing pieces of Community
and Support, to
accomplish your goals and just enjoying your days more, you
need to break out of the isolation that comes with being a
modern stay-at-home mom. You need to create a support network
not just to help keep you on track with your goals, but to
help keep you sane. Below are some ideas of the type of people
you should include in your support network:
The Resources for Suburban CEOs
This site is here to help you achieve your goals, so take
advantage of the resources it offers, which are constantly
being updated and improved, in our "Resources for Suburban CEOs"
section. Come back frequently to see what's new. In particular,
be sure to join our email
group.
Your Husband
Keep your husband up to date with your thoughts on goal-setting,
finding your blue flame, etc. When you set your Three Month
Deadline project (Step 3) tell him
about it. And remember to pitch your ideas with positivity
and enthusiasm. All good CEO's know how to sell their vision
for their organization, and you should too.
Help With the Kids
I've said it once, I'll say it a thousand times: women weren't
meant to raise children in isolation. To be the sole person
responsible for your children's safety, nutrition, diaper
changes, entertainment, etc. all day every day, tests the
limits of psychological endurance. You need help -- even if
it's just an hour or two per week. I know it's not always
easy to make this happen, but I don't think it's optional.
Other Mothers
If you've found a playgroup with women whose company you genuinely
enjoy and that you look forward to going to, good for you.
They do exist. But, by and large, playgroups are like generic
"business networking" events -- nobody ever gets
anything out of them because they have nothing in common.
Expecting to bond with a group of women because you're all
mothers is like expecting to hit it off with people at a business
event because they also have jobs. Seek out a moms' group
for women with whom you have something in common, preferable
something related to your blue flame (from Step
3). If none exist, start your own.
Friends
Talk to your friends about the changes you're trying to make
in your life. Encourage one of them to make these sorts of
changes with you. Set a recurring coffee date (or phone call
if she lives in another city) where you'll discuss your progress
towards your goals, provide encouragement for one another
and keep each other accountable for the deadlines you set.
ACTION ITEMS Build a network of support for yourself to help
keep your motivation up, give you a bit of free time and
just give you some opportunities for adult conversation:
Resources for Suburban CEOs: Join our email
list and check back frequently for other valuable
resources that are always being added.
Your husband: Tell him about the changes
you're going to make in your life to accomplish exciting
goals and build a community for yourself. "Sell"
your vision to him and tell him what sort of support you
need from him to stay motivated.
Help with the kids: Really brainstorm
about how you can a little bit of help to give yourself
a break each week. Some ideas:
Contact a local homeschooling group to see if anyone
has a daughter who might be able to come over for
an hour or two once or twice a week.
Look into the Mother's Day Out program at local
churches (you can usually send your child there even
if you're not a member).
See if your husband could arrange with his employer
to work from home sometimes. Even a half day per week
would be a big help.
Other Mothers: If you currently have
a playgroup you go to, ask yourself if you're really getting
something out of it or if you just go to pass the time.
If it's the latter, seek out another mother's group that
better fits your personality. Most cities have some sort
of mother's email list -- subscribe to that and post a
question asking if anyone knows about a group reated to
your passions. If you can't find one, create your own.
There are surely at least a few other women in your area
who share your interests. Better to have a three-mom playgroup
with women with whom you have something in common than
a larger group that bores you.
Friends: Call your friend who most
inspires you and ask if she'd be willing to talk through
your ideas with you and help motivate you to accomplish
your goals and hit your deadlines. Set a recurring date
to meet up.
