Interpreting babies' sounds

Word on the suburban street is that there was this amazing woman on Oprah yesterday named Priscilla Dunstan who claims to be able to interpret the noises babies make to understand what they're saying. Evidently it was really compelling. Everyone's talking about it. She claims that:

• Neh="I'm hungry"
• Owh="I'm sleepy"
• Heh="I'm experiencing discomfort"
• Eair="I have lower gas"
• Eh="I need to burp"
  

I tried to watch the accompanying video but it's shut down do to high demand, and her website is also slow because of all the traffic. I imagine Dunstan sitting in her house right now Googling "does the Ferrari 575M have LATCH system?"

She shouldn't be the only one to get rich off of interpreting what babies say. I am also a "baby whisperer" of sorts, being able to interpret the little noises my four-month-old makes:

• Kheeh = "I see it's almost eleven o'clock and you're still in your pajamas. Really, mother, don't you have some sort of website about not doing that sort of thing?"
• Ghah Ooog = "That twenty-dollar bill great-grandpa gave you for my college savings account -- would that be the same one I saw you pull out at Target yesterday?"
• Nang Heeeh = "Remember that time you'd accidentally turned off the monitor and didn't hear me crying for five minutes? I'll be sending the psychotherapy bills to you."
• Gooh Gooh = "Just wanted to note that it is now approaching the thirty minute mark that I have been sitting in my bouncy chair while you chase after my big brother. I feel certain that the other babies from playgroup do not have to endure this sort of duress."
• Neeg = "I heard what you said under your breath when I woke up for the third time last night. Plan on that being my first word."
  

Maybe this'll be my next Three Month Project, launching aNeuroticMomInterprets YourBabysSounds.com. It'll be huge.