- Why does everyone think you have to have a career
to "have it all"?
- If women have always been miserable raising children,
why did it take thousands of years to do something about
it?
- Why do so few women find genuine fulfillment foregoing
a career to raise their children?
These were the questions that were swirling through my head
when I found out I was pregnant with my first child. I planned
to shut down my website development company to stay home to
raise my children but had heard all about how mind-numbing
and mundane it is. "Keep your business cards handy,"
everyone told me, "you'll want to get back to work as
soon as possible."
I was confident that this would not be my experience. I was
excited about being a full-time mom and completely believed
(as I still do) that being a full-time mother is the most
important job anyone could ever have. But when my son was
about four months old, it hit me: I wasn't enjoying this nearly
as much as I thought I would. I loved my baby dearly and enjoyed
being around him, but something was missing. With great guilt
I admitted to myself that I didn't feel fulfilled, and I often
envied my husband when he left the house to go to his office.
Whenever I talked to others about this feeling, the most
common response I got was advice on how to get back into the
workforce. Everyone simply assumed that staying home with
children is inherently boring and unfulfilling.
I refused to believe this.
When I talked to female relatives who were born at the beginning
of the 20th century, they expressed genuine happiness with
their roles as wives and mothers. When they spoke of their
mothers and grandmothers they painted a picture of strong,
bold women who lived life to the fullest and enjoyed what
they did. These were not meek doormats who wanted to work
but weren't allowed to.
The notion that women have always yearned to work outside
of the home but weren't allowed to until they were liberated
by the modern feminist movement just didn't resonate with
what I know of women. If we want something, we make it happen.
If staying at home and raising children were inherently miserable,
the women's movement would have happened about 5,000 years
ago.
What, I wondered, caused this? Why did women suddenly start
eschewing life as housewives and flocking to the workforce
starting in the 1960's? Why were most stay-at-home moms I
knew counting the days until they could return to work?
I began reading and researching and talking to women of different
generations. I even talked through the issue with renowned
networking guru Keith Ferrazzi, author of Never Eat Alone
(see Recommended
Reading) and got great advice from him. I quickly began
to get a clear picture of why running a household isn't what
it used to be, that there are five key elements missing from
our lives as at-home moms today.
Based on these conclusions, I put together a plan to take
control of my life and replace those missing pieces. The results
in my own life were dramatic. So dramatic, in fact, that friends
(and friends of friends) started to ask me what my secret
was. Since I have a background in web development I decided
to put my thoughts on a website to share with women everywhere.
Welcome to SuburbanCEO.com. |
