My Story

  • Why does everyone think you have to have a career to "have it all"?
  • If women have always been miserable raising children, why did it take thousands of years to do something about it?
  • Why do so few women find genuine fulfillment foregoing a career to raise their children?

These were the questions that were swirling through my head when I found out I was pregnant with my first child. I planned to shut down my website development company to stay home to raise my children but had heard all about how mind-numbing and mundane it is. "Keep your business cards handy," everyone told me, "you'll want to get back to work as soon as possible."

I was confident that this would not be my experience. I was excited about being a full-time mom and completely believed (as I still do) that being a full-time mother is the most important job anyone could ever have. But when my son was about four months old, it hit me: I wasn't enjoying this nearly as much as I thought I would. I loved my baby dearly and enjoyed being around him, but something was missing. With great guilt I admitted to myself that I didn't feel fulfilled, and I often envied my husband when he left the house to go to his office.

Whenever I talked to others about this feeling, the most common response I got was advice on how to get back into the workforce. Everyone simply assumed that staying home with children is inherently boring and unfulfilling.

I refused to believe this.

When I talked to female relatives who were born at the beginning of the 20th century, they expressed genuine happiness with their roles as wives and mothers. When they spoke of their mothers and grandmothers they painted a picture of strong, bold women who lived life to the fullest and enjoyed what they did. These were not meek doormats who wanted to work but weren't allowed to.

The notion that women have always yearned to work outside of the home but weren't allowed to until they were liberated by the modern feminist movement just didn't resonate with what I know of women. If we want something, we make it happen. If staying at home and raising children were inherently miserable, the women's movement would have happened about 5,000 years ago.

What, I wondered, caused this? Why did women suddenly start eschewing life as housewives and flocking to the workforce starting in the 1960's? Why were most stay-at-home moms I knew counting the days until they could return to work?

I began reading and researching and talking to women of different generations. I even talked through the issue with renowned networking guru Keith Ferrazzi, author of Never Eat Alone (see Recommended Reading) and got great advice from him. I quickly began to get a clear picture of why running a household isn't what it used to be, that there are five key elements missing from our lives as at-home moms today.

Based on these conclusions, I put together a plan to take control of my life and replace those missing pieces. The results in my own life were dramatic. So dramatic, in fact, that friends (and friends of friends) started to ask me what my secret was. Since I have a background in web development I decided to put my thoughts on a website to share with women everywhere.

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Introducing the new blog, the Diary of a Suburban CEO!
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